Is selfish really a bad thinking?

19/3/2009

Last Thur (12/3), XXT had reselect da new commitee for zhong yang. Dat night most of the 12th members dint attend da AGM include me… I plan to go de dat night, but after only slept half hour for whole night, summore after 9am-7pm lecture, I really gave up to my body tiredness. I admit I m oso a selfish person, originally I plan to go dere bcoz I wan to make sure I dint get da pose I don’t wan. However, even though lastly I decide nt to go, I oso did ask my roommate to tell everyone abot my decision if I had been assigned da pose. Hahaha! Seem like I think too much ald, none of them suggest my name for dat pose pun! Finally, my pose in zhong yang is treasurer, yup! Dis is da pose I like actually, ha! I still didn’t let HL n Fifi noe I had been assigned a pose in XXT again. I think, if dey noe, dey might say:”u better take care urself……we no eyes to c……” Hmm… I dun hope to totally pull myself out of dis society, a pose of treasure, for me, still acceptable ba...

The juz passed Tue (17/3) night, new zhong yang committee had a meeting vf old zhong yang committee. Dat Tue morning I juz been told sumthing nt happy happened in dat AGM night. I was surprised to hear dat Wan Ling refuse to accept da pose of a/c audit (查账). She passed Seng Chiew a resign letter dat morning. Actually, she did express her unwillingness dat night, but seem like nt accepted. Yi Zhi did say sumthing dat night, bcoz obviously cn c dat we r playing Tai Chi to refuse dis n dat. Was it bcoz I ald gave a bad role during da reselection for hui xiang committee? Dunno, I juz noe dat I nid to do sumthing for my own good, n consider more on my own capability. Am I selfish? Yup, I should admit dat. But am I wrong? For me, I feel Wan Ling dint do da wrong decision, but others felt dat she shouldn’t take dis action. Since everyone have their capability limit, if she feel dat she cnt make it, didn’t accept should b a correct decision, right? It is better den being a bad role after accept da pose wat? They said everyone r bz, everyone also care abot result, but still willing to contribute to XXT, dere was no excuse except selfish. Ya! But I dun think dat made selfish decision for own benefit at sumtime is a wrong things. I really understand Wan Ling thinking. But another said dat her result quite good, nt yet around d edge of 2.0. OMG! Like me meh?! Nid to wait until da result drop until like dis only noe wan to concentrate more on study? Gud o nt gud is on self judgment mah!

Haiz……hw would XXT be within next one year? Did I still had da qualified to said dat ‘hope dat v hav happily cooperation’? Erm……excuse might b a lot for everyone, but ‘heart’ is the only one. I also a person got selfish thinking like Wan Ling, am I still kira had a ‘heart’ on XXT? But I still like n willing to participate activities of XXT, juz I wan to set myself to have more time on study…… I know, dis is self problem in time management, but I still fail to find out clearly y others manage to do it but I cannot…… Frens’ advices I had heard a lot but all were only surface things. I understand nt mean dat I manage to control da situation n myself. Mb Wan Ling oso had same feeling. I still in processing try hard to fix all things in my life. Do u understand wat I mean? Can u understand, forgive n accept such selfish thinking?