坏情绪

2009年10月19日

将近两个星期没update了...
生活节奏已经慢慢舒缓了
但也许我并不适合酱的生活
虽然我常常会要求多一些私人空间
但真的可以空出来时
才发现我不应该沉溺于酱的空间里

今早很意外地没有被闹钟叫醒
很难得的睡上了八个小时
我是那个常会逼自己早起床的人
没有了闹钟，没有了IK的床，
我依然是个会赖床八九个小时的人。
睡多了，却意外没有带来好心情

为什么常常会如此郁闷起来？
我不能让自己太安静
沉寂的脑袋会无法控制地胡思乱想
双子座是个够力的双面人
心情起落转变会很快
心底深处常常会有两把声音在对话
这种对话程序可以进行很久
这种对话方式往往只会让自己更消沉下去
这是一种精神耗损
到后来累了，只渴望睡个觉醒来就可以换个心情

一张笑脸的背后可以隐藏很多情绪
欢笑？苦笑？奸笑？
做人一定要酱吗？
很可悲，是的，很多时候你是需要带着酱的面具做人
轻易地把情绪表露出来会被评为低EQ
会被认为处事不成熟
面对着大众还是得忍下来了，强颜欢笑着
久了，一旦情绪不好，也没多少人懂得
懂得的也没有安慰，好像不得不习惯了

这段日子，我的情绪绕着同一个点起起落落很久了
一个可以轻易让我昂奋的点
也是一个可以轻易让我沮丧的点
有时候会反问自己：“真的需要酱吗？是否该走出来了？”
如果说不想要伤心就放弃好了
那么我可以轻易得到的开心就酱离我而去了
“付出才是最大的收获”
这一句静思语因缘落在我手上
觉得对了，做就是了！
别管会不会有回报了，
间种的情绪失常再见步行步地处理
最重要的还是别留遗憾
同样的遗憾，别再让它出现第二次
做就对了^^

傻吧？干嘛要那么坚持！
你真的会到后来什么都得不到
处理不好还可能毁了先前建立好的
这真的是你想要的吗？
你是否发现自己已慢慢地背弃原有的生活？
值不值得你懂得衡量吗？
你还期望说几句话哄哄自己就可以重振起来？
别逞强了......

我知道自己很不想放弃，
至少在没有结论之前不会死心
累了 照惯例努力清醒着
是的， 林欣儿爱逞强
常常会期望有个可以安心倚靠的肩膀
先前用惯的最近都好忙哦！
好久没见面好好聊了
在看着我的部落格吗？
知道你最近也蛮压力的
祝你一切顺利吧^^

唉...还是那句吧！
我知道我会很快好起来的，加茶！

注：想到什么就写什么，所以这会是很矛盾、很没次序的一篇。

Moon Cake Festival Celebration

I had my first Moon cake Festival celebration with XXT friends on 29th of Sept, Monday. Since I had class on that night, I went late for the celebration but I had exempted from paid RM20, thanks for Jeannie to ask Yukina to claim the money from Prof Teng if she want. Hehehe!

We had theme for the celebration which called 月光野餐. This was not a simply eat and chat gathering, games and performances were prepared. I had my first try on 相声with Jeannie. I felt myself like to try on various type of performance recently, hehehe, but I know myself not really born for performance stage. I prepared a drama script and hand language for 回乡too! Both were also my virgin works, but they were declared loosed the chance to present not long after I completed. Haiz! OK! Never mind, I accepted but still felt little disappointment for the cancelation of 回乡. The 相声was actually another performance for 回乡，Jeannie and I made a pre-presentation on it when月光野餐. I didn’t feel nervous any more when performing on the spot, but I know I didn’t do well for it as my Chinese speaking not professional and a bit pretentious. Thanks for all of your comments; I will do better if I still have another chance. Hehehe. Besides this, thanks for our Magician Seng Chiew, altered version of 嫦娥奔月performed by 教育组 and jokes given by 升学组.

After games and performances, we light on our lanterns and had a walk in the dark of USM. I taught we will go further up to the hill for night view on Penang Bridge, but we ended up made a round around the roundabout. It was funny because a row of 17 peoples made a turn on the roundabout while other transports were moving. Actually, I did go for the night view in front of HEP before attend 8pm class. Let’s see the beautiful photos……^.^

the rosy clouds just before sunset...

the opposite side of view...... so romantic ya....

That's the shorter Twins Tour in Penang. XD

I had another Moon Cake Festival celebration on 2nd of Oct, Friday night. It was an event with course mates. Khai Qi brought us to QB for vegetarian Rou Gu Cha. I think a lot of you never tried before, it was really delicious especially the wine soup. I like it ^o^. After back from QB, Kar Min and I went to Tesco Extra search for foods and drinks for the celebration. Quite a lot of things we bought, hehehe, because we afraid the junk foods, sandwich and moon cakes might not sufficient to fill everyone stomach! Luckily, she suggested cooking noodles, even though it was just 5 packs of Mee Sedap ;P

Finally, these were the foods we prepared for that night. It seem like not a lot, but 11 of us still not manage to finish all.

We were planning to celebrate Clarian birthday too, which was on 3rd of Oct. We reached Saujana gym park at about 8.30pm but don't know why Tang required Clarian to come an hour later... pity Clarian....

While waiting Clarian, a group of Malays who were also having 'picnic' at another side of the park, sang birthday song!! Wow! Another birthday celebration there... Jane generously gave out her favourite green lantern to the birthday girls even we don't know each other. Hahaha...then...

we took a chance to have a group photo with them too. How sweat it was.... since we really don't know any of them. GOOD!! That's called ONE MALAYSIA....XD kekeke

After that was Clarian's turn. Since it was a windy night, we worked hard to light on the candles. Hehehe! Never saw moon cakes as birthday cake and light on with candles, right? Two big moon cake plus two smaller, meant he was 22 years old!!

He cut one....

...then I needed to help him cut the rest. because he was so hungary to wait his dinner until 9.30pm. Tang's false....XD

Just eating and chating were quite boring, so Wen Wei suggested to play a game called 'Killer' by her but called 'Mafia' by me. The time when I played this game, Mafia Wars was not yet popular on Facebook. When they heard I called this game as Mafia, they kept laughing and said wanted to move laptop down to play. T.T yerrr.... It's really called Mafia when first introduced to me......sob...

After played the a few round of the games, all suddenly changed mind to play lanterns. It's actually because we are photographic-phillic (word created by Kar Min), thaught to take more photos with the beautiful lanterns. Hohoho! The biggest one was mine!! Like a Queen being protected. Hahaha!

Artistic...

More artistic!! I like this photo. If the Moon looked bigger might be better. Lanterns with the Moon can be the perfect match in the dark. Moreover, you can see Li ting smiling to the Moon, that's the contented feeling for Moon Cake Festival. Wow! hahaha! Li Ting, don't 'hao lian' ya! I am not really praising you....

Back to the game after SS... XD

This was the Moon at aroud 3am. It was so bright and round before the rain fell.

We moved to sheltered location when rainning. No body felt to back home or hostel, even though it was almost 4am. Good! Then, Mafia game continued......

After 5am something, most of us almost collapsed. I fell into short slept while waiting the Killer been caught. XD

Finally... Tang was the Killer!!! How unexpected!!! He killed me (the Doctor) and Li Ting (the Police) but still pretent innocent!! The Killer won the last game!!! OMG! Look at Li Ting, she was so angry to throw a shoe on him. Me?! Almost energiless to react....XD

New record:
Celebration duration : ~10 hours
Total time for a game : ~8 hours!!
Total time for being awake : >24 hours

Anyway! It was fun. I can feel I realize something meaningful besides playing with this game, Mafia~~